Today’s is part I of a special guest
blog entry by my colleague, Dr. Christine Allen. Dr. Allen is a psychologist
who is also an executive and life coach. She has over 20 years of psychotherapy
experience, is past President of the Central New York Psychological Association
(CNYPA), awarded the CNYPA Psychologist of the Year in 2008, serves on the
governing Council of the New York State Psychological Association, and is an
adjunct psychology professor at Syracuse
University. She runs
Chris Allen Coaching and can be followed on Twitter here.
You would have to be completely
disconnected from TV, YouTube, movies, Facebook, Google and even newspapers and
magazines if you have not heard about or been exposed to information about
“happiness” lately. Some people are quick to dismiss this topic as another form
of constantly chasing more....and always comparing ourselves to
others. There were even recent articles that rate different geographical locations
as being “the happiest” places to live. Is happiness competition the new way of
“keeping up with the Joneses”? Or is it really something worth pursuing?
Happiness has been viewed as
important throughout human history. Aristotle in
particular wrote that, “Happiness is
the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
The language of the “pursuit of happiness” is embedded into the fabric of our
society through the Declaration of Independence (although as Ben Franklin allegedly
said, “The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of
it. You have to catch up with it yourself”).
But what is happiness and is it
attainable? I have always liked the idea expressed by Nathaniel Hawthorne that,
“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp,
but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Thus, happiness is not
a goal in itself, but perhaps a side effect of other, meaningful, goal-directed
activity.
Still I don’t completely like the
idea of just sitting around and waiting, so what to do? I recently finished
reading Flourish, the newest book by the prolific Dr. Martin Seligman,
who is considered the “Father of Positive Psychology.” In this book, he talks
about the concept of “well-being” rather than about happiness per se.
He believes that just like the concept of “weather”, where we measure wind,
cloud cover, humidity, temperature, etc, “well-being” involves looking at a
number of measures, not just how “happy” overall we are with our lives. He uses
the mnemonic called PERMA, which stands for Positivity (or positive emotion), Engagement (or “flow”), Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment to explain “well-being.”
When researchers assess happiness, on
the other hand, they are usually looking at a unidimensional concept like
positive emotion or life satisfaction only. Seligman’s idea of well-being
offers us greater opportunity to consider how to design a meaningful and
fulfilling life, because even the more pessimistic types of people have the
opportunity to increase well-being through developing in other ways, such as
improving relationships or increasing accomplishment.
To flourish according to the PERMA
principle, we need to look for opportunities to increase positive emotion
through savoring our pleasures and amplifying our good feelings. We also become
happier when we are actively engaged... “in the zone” so to speak. Time passes
without awareness when we are engaged fully in what we are doing, whether it be
having a conversation, playing tennis, or cooking a meal. This means being
fully present, not distracted with our smart phones, Facebook, etc. Also, the
better the quality of our relationships with others and the more we build these
relationships, the deeper our satisfaction with life will be. Identifying core
values and living these everyday is crucial to establishing a fulfilling,
“purpose-driven” life. The philosopher Nietzche was the one who said, “He who
has a why to live can bear with almost any how.” So develop a sense of
purpose--what you want your life to stand for.
Finally, Seligman recently added a
sense of accomplishment; while endlessly pursuing achievement out of a sense of
perfectionism is unhealthy, dedicating yourself to the accomplishment of important
goals, whether they be personal or professional, definitely adds to a sense of
well-being.
Lots of research suggests that
happiness matters; it’s not just hype. A meta-analysis of 300 studies with over
275,000 people found that people with greater levels of positivity lived
longer, had better health, happier marriages, and made more money. So what are some
take-aways on how to increase well-being and happiness? Stay tuned tomorrow to
find out, in part II on this special guest blog entry.
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